Wednesday, August 24, 2005

FUBAR

I came to a decision last week that even if were offered the position that I applied for in the UK that I wouldn't take it. Given some things that I know are coming up, I didn't want to deal with high work drama when I am dealing with so many life drama issues. . . International move, wedding, controlling my urge to throttle my alcoholic sister for what she is doing to her son and my mother. . . Best decision I ever made. I came in this morning and NOTHING works. External and internal systems down. . . down. . . down. . . The thought of walking out the door on September 30th and not being stressed out by this place and the systems being down every time we do a launch fills me with glee. GLEE! I have already composed my Sayonara e-mail. (I think I may be ready to leave.) I've removed all references to my company name. Any work people that read this, I won't be sending this out for another month. It is with: A. deep regret B. indifference C. utter unadulterated joy that I announce I am taking my stapler and leaving. I’ve decided to leave to: A. spend more time with my family. B. sell oranges on the side of the road. C. go to Google. D. join the French Foreign Legion. E. become a professional killer. F. bowl midgets. G. sell Star Maps. H. get a job writing something besides business e-mails so my 90K in student loans is not quite as pathetic and sad. I. run for President of the United States. J. get married to someone I just met, move to the UK and celebrate the Christmas holidays in Budapest eating borscht. It is amazing to me that I have blinked and BLAM- six years gone. What shocks me the most about the last few years is: A. (removed because it names my company) B. How many gray hairs I have. C. Scott Carlson hasn’t recently put on a dress. D. All the above. I will miss: A. Michael Amezcua’s beef jerky. Wait. That sounded wrong. B. The annoying questions Tommy “Why” Lee asks C. Some amazing, talented, kind people. I hope you know who you are. D. All the above. I will not miss: A. Replication delays. B. The elevators C. (The name of a evil client which I have removed to protect him) D. All the above. Please, A. don’t be a stranger. B. do not contact me under any circumstances. C. feel free to come visit the land that modern dentistry forgot. I’ll buy you a pint and some crisps. You can reach me at: A. I can’t be reached. Please don’t try. I never really liked you. You scare me. B. I can’t be reached. I suffer from technophobia. It has been necessary for me to be severely medicated to do this gig the last six years. That’s why you saw me sobbing in the bathroom like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. Please leave me in peace. Unless you have a homing pigeon. I can communicate with pigeons. I like pigeons. C. travelingtreefrog236@yahoo.co.uk. I wish: A. for a pony. B. that zombies attack you in the dead of night and chew your face off. C. you all the best. And so: A. Take care, B. Cheers, C. Bite Me, A. Nicole B. Nic C. The Finance Liaison Nazi

3 Comments:

At 8/25/2005 12:38:00 AM, Blogger Pappy said...

I wish you luck in your decision. You have always been an inspiration to me!

Pappy
Mackin with Pappy

 
At 8/25/2005 04:05:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, chick, are you writing a book?

You'd think with all your reading and the ability to write stuff like this letter, that there'd be a book hidden up there in your gray matter somewhere.

Paulina

 
At 8/25/2005 04:26:00 AM, Blogger Nicole said...

ah, you have landed on the sad truth of my not living up to my potential. My old professors would not be happy with me. I am really lazy. Was working on a novel but I threw it away because it sucked. Once I get my life in some bit of order- I am going to get back on the wagon.

 

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