Saturday, August 27, 2005

Pingu

My adorable fiancé just called me and said the sweetest things. Made me get teary. He said all these sweet things and then he needed to balance the chemistry equation. He said that I have a Pingu walk. I didn't know what Pingu was but after a quick bit of research, I see that he is right. I do have a Pingu walk. I do this bouncy thing and I walk really fast. It is problematic when I have a coffee because I usually splash it all over myself like I am in the throws of an epileptic fit. I try to avoid white clothing for this reason. Thinking of white, I have been sucked into the wedding industrial complex and I am wearing a white dress. (Albeit with a red sash). I found a bridesmaid dress I like and they are going to make alterations for me to make it more Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face-ish. I think we should have a pool to see how long I can go without spilling red wine on myself on my wedding day. I remember when I was seven, I had one of those existential freak out moments- realizing I exist and the odds of me being me are far fewer than never being at all. When I think through the dominos of my life or the triggers and heaps if I may use the term from Backwards and Forwards, it is amazing to see how I got here. All those little places that if I zigged instead of zagged and my life would have been wildly different. I wonder about those alternative lives sometimes. Is she happy? Not that it matters because I am so happy in this moment. Pingu walk and all. . .

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