Monday, September 19, 2005

Night Terrors

One of the first things I warned Stuart about before I slept with him is that I snore and I experience night terrors. I am certain that he would contend that the snoring is a far more terrifying thing. What I get isn't strictly night terrors. It is hypnagogic sleep paralysis but night terrors is easier to say. It happens to a lot more people than you realize and is a good explanation of how why mentally healthy people claim to have been abducted by aliens. I have yet to be abducted by aliens. When I was a kid I would see a witchy hag, banshee beast thing float toward me and I knew it planned on killing me. As an adult, I wake up with the knowledge that something is in the room, that it is laying on top of me and it is waiting, torturing me with my own fear and it plans on killing me. I never see it, I just feel it. Usually it is just a heavy faceless big bad, but a few recent ones have been real people. What I mean is, in my head the thing laying on me is someone I know or actually I know they aren't the person but they are pretending to be. Before I left for London the thing was my Mom. (Sorry Mom!) It was laying on top of me chattering away and at first I was terrified and then I thought, oh it is just Mom and I ignored the babble. This pissed it off so it started to choke me. A few nights ago the thing was Stuart. It was laughing at me before it started to choke me. Last night was a weird mixture of a nightmare/movie I was creating but I wasn't the main character. For some bizarre reason I had cast Tobey Maguire. Nothing against Mr. Maguire but it seemed weird. . . In the middle of the movie dream, I felt the familiar thing in the room, the weight on my body but it was telling me to hide. That there were people in the apartment. Or that they weren't there yet and they would be soon and that I must hide. The problem is I am paralyzed when this all happens. I can't move. I can't hide. Where will I hide? Under the bed? The monsters always look under the bed. Then I hear things in the apartment. I can't move. They are in the hallway, they are at the door. . . I can't move. They're in my room- I can't move! I finally move. The weight lifts. It isn't so much waking up because I have been awake. I have been awake and paralyzed knowing that I am going to die. Two things you think you get rid of when you become an adult. Zits and nightmares.

3 Comments:

At 9/20/2005 06:01:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good grief!!! I never knew about this. Your sisters experience things similar to this. I had no idea you did. In the link I saw that it could be inherited. I wonder if any one else in the family has it.
I can't promise not to babble
- when I do I know I'm ignored. But I sure do promise not to choke you.
xxxooo
Mom

 
At 9/20/2005 08:40:00 AM, Blogger Nicole said...

lol!!!!

Yeah, dad had these too. It only happens every so often- sometimes more often than sometimes. :)

 
At 9/20/2005 10:04:00 AM, Blogger Stu. said...

You just need someone to rub your head while you sleep. This should protect your thoughts :) xx

 

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