Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Sex Ed

Artegall (who is actually often rather clever, don't judge him by this post) recently blogged about a certain lack of skill, interest and "oral incompetence" with the women that he hangs out with. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more. I mention it only because Mel's Diner posted a funny little blurb about a Brazilian woman who is suing her lover because he is selfish in bed. A 31-year-old woman from Brazil is asserting her right for satisfaction during sex by resorting to Justice. According to the newspaper Terra Noticias Populares, the disgruntled woman filed a complaint against her partner at Chacar Urbana Police station in Jundiai, claiming that her 38-year-old lover was very selfish in bed. Specifically, the 31-year-old complained that her partner simply stopped sexual intercourse as soon as he reached orgasm, without paying any attention to her needs. "We will look into it, we will treat it as an ordinary complaint and let the judge decide," declared Police chief Jose Roberto Ferraz, answering to all those who laughed their hearts out when they found out about the complaint. Now, why didn't I think of that? Talk about litigious. If we all start suing because our lovers suck (or don't), lawyers will get no rest. It would be a whole new type of law, Intercourse Relational Quality And Disbursement. Maybe it would be better for people to have classes. Adult Continuing Education if you will. How To Give A Blowjob Without Drawing Blood, How To Do Foreplay Properly-Yes You Have To Do It- No That Isn't Good Enough and Spanking 101. Advanced Classes might be- What Do You Do When Your Lover Pulls a M Butterfly or What Do You Do When Your Lover Likes To Wear Big Furry Stuffed Animal Suits And Have Sex With Other People Wearing Big Furry Stuffed Animal Suits.

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