Tuesday, April 04, 2006

AAANNNNND in this corner!

In the comments of one of my posts last month Kieran asked: "Could you provide the definitive answer: who has the best culture - the UK or the US? Go on, you can say. I'm only messing. What I really want to know is have you listened to anything by Joanna Newson? I've just discovered her and want to know more." I responded, "I've never heard of Joanna Newson so I did a search and I immediately wondered if you are taking a piss. Then I listened to the snippets of her album on Amazon and I became fairly certain of it. . . then it sort of grew on me a bit so now I really don't know. . . Stuart will hate her though so I may need to buy her stuff just for torture purposes. If you don't know her, check out Neko Case. UK vs US. I've always been an Anglophile, so I feel fairly comfortable here. It isn't an easy answer- and I am from the West coast which as a different culture than other areas of the US. Both have good and not so good things. For example. . . UK Good: Apple crumble with custard UK Bad: Washing Machine/Dyer combos that take three hours for one wash and the dryer just makes your clothes wet and hot. US Good: 24 Hour Grocery stores where you can purchase anything your little heart desires US Bad: No one uses or even knows about electric kettles." He hasn't left a post since so I hope I didn't offend with my flippant response regarding Joanna Newson. But, out of that little exchange, I have been thinking of doing a weekly UK vs. US thing. So. Here we go. I now have something to say every Tuesday on this blog. Guaranteed. This week's installment. UK Good: Pub Quizs. I've only been to two so far, but it was good fun and I would like to attend again. The problem is, the quiz at The Frog and Forget Me Not is so popular, you need to get there two hours before the quiz begins, which means you get far more pissed than a girl should on a Tuesday night. UK Bad: Mums with prams. Mothers pushing their children in strollers (at least in my baby heavy Balham neighborhood) seem to think that the child is a get out of jail free card that allows them to aim said stroller with said child, sometimes twins, often twins - straight at you as you as you walk down the sidewalk. I say this as one of the most hyper and polite members of the sidewalk community out there. I'm always thrwapping Stuart on the side of his head when he cuts off a blind man with a seeing eye dog. I am hyper uber psychotically aware of people walking toward me and moving over to let them pass (and why the hell is it always bloody me that lets them bloody pass? When is someone going to move the hell over for me? I'm just saying.) Mums here are VISCIOUS. They use their child as an excuse to take up all room on the sidewalk and to stop traffic. Seriously. If I see one more mother push her pram out against the walk signal daring the traffic to stop, I will choke her with her child's dummy. (Pacifier for my us readers.) US Good: Cheap manicures. You can get a manicure AND a pedicure in LA for $24.00. I try not to think about the fact that the woman scrapping the dry crusty epidermis off of my heal is probably an illegal alien and she is working off being smuggled to the US in a boat and that as she rubs the lotion into my arms in legs, she is thinking, "Stupid white girl. If she only knew how much I wish she would DIE. DIE, WHITE BITCH, DIE!" US Bad: George Bush. He's the President.


At 4/05/2006 06:56:00 PM, Blogger jen said...

Ugh - clapham junction, lunchtime, any weekday. you cannot move nor eat for all the bloody pushchairs. i mean you can not even make it into the restaurant.

the attitude is: i live in a pricey area of town, my husband makes a shitload of money, i can stay at home full time raising baby and drinking lattes... therefore my miniature Baby-SUV takes precedent over your right to move about freely. Or eat.


Post a Comment

<< Home